How to Contend With Those Dreaded Words—“Winter is Coming!”

How to Contend With Those Dreaded Words—“Winter is Coming!”

—February 25, 2017

It’s winter!

It’s winter, and we don’t really care whether that over-glorified February-the-second rodent saw his shadow or not, because all realistic indications point to winter being with us for many weeks to come. And, as lovers of all things nautical, we at Getting Nauti get kind of depressed during thegroundhog-in-snow-812159 depths of winter because this season puts a damper on maritime fun.

Sure, you folks who live in southern California or Florida pretty much enjoy the nautical lifestyle for 12 months of the year. However, the rest of us schmucks have to endure what seems to be an annual eternity of cold temperatures, freezing water, dark skies, ice, and—for those of us in the northern climes—that white stuff that looks oh-so-pretty-when-it-first-blankets-the-ground but after lingering for weeks on end starts looking like the frozen crust of nuclear fallout.

Winter—Blah!    

Just the thought of it in late summer made us quit watching Game of Thrones so we wouldn’t have to images-1hear that annoying catch-phrase “Winter is coming!” That harbinger of winter, that first frost, brings tears to our eyes as it marks the end of the nautical season. And that first snowfall, the one in which just about everyone exclaims, “Oh, how pretty!,” has us envisioning a flamethrower melting the white spawn of Satan before it can touch the ground.

OK, OK, so we’re getting a bit melodramatic here….

But we can’t help it because by mid-February we are so done with winter, and so ready to get back to getting nauti! Not gonna happen, though, because we’ve got endless weeks and weeks to go, no matter how that aforementioned rodent calls it.

So this got us thinking: what kind of nautical-minded fun can we have in spite of winter’s ravages? Lo and behold, after a bit of research we discovered that there are all kinds of winter-time maritime activities one can enjoy. Maybe winter doesn’t suck after all. Let’s check them out:

Frostbite Sailing— Heck, we thought everyone up north pulled their sailboats out of the water in the fall, but it turns out that a dozen or so northern communities from Boston to Maryland engage in sailboat racing all year. “Frostbiting,” they call it with good reason. And yeah, we can just imagine the joys of sailing into 20-knot subzero winds, sleet and snow; moving about on frozen decks while dressed in so many layers one can hardly move; and handling lines so cold that they feel like they’re about to cut through your gloves and into your flesh.

Ice Diving— Everyone pretty much pictures tropical coral reefs when thinking about SCUBA diving, but some hard-core divers take it to the extreme by diving through a hole in the ice during the depths of winter. In fact, some divers are so gung-ho that they pay big bucks to break through arctic ice to explore the coldest underwater environments. Don’t try this at home, though kids, as ice diving requires specialized equipment and probably a bit of training to account for unfamiliar cold water considerations. You know, like how to successfully do it without freezing to death. 

Surf Fishing the Freeze— Many die-hard surf fishermen swear that they can pull in just as many game fish in February as they can during spring or fall runs. On beaches from Massachusetts to North Carolina you can find these brave fishermen facing the freezing onshore wind and sleet while angling for a striper, blue, drum, flounder or any number of other prime catches. If you meet one of these eager anglers try to take note of how many fingers he has as he waxes poetic about the 20-pound striper he caught off Cape May during the height of last winter’s blizzard.

Cold Weather Surfing— Cowabunga! Piping Hot! Surf’s Up, Baby…. Especially in the winter when “gnarly” waves might take on a whole new meaning when you add some baby icebergs. But get amped, because surfers who live in eskimo-like climates swear winter surfing is the best. Just ask the locals who live near Windmill Bight, Newfoundland; Tofino, British Columbia; Lawrencetown, Nova Scotia; Higgins Beach, Maine; Lofoten, Norway; or Punta de Lobos, Chile. They don’t let a bit of snow, wind, ice or frostbite snake their waves.   

Polar Bear Swimming— Those crazy neighbours of ours to the north in the land of ice, moose, beavers, Mounties and Eskimos, have engaged in this traditional activity for more than a hundred years as a fun way to ring in the New Year. And while some American groups have adopted this hypothermic pastime for charitable purposes, those crazy Canucks just do it for the fun of it, to the point where just about any winter holiday or event marks a good reason to jump into the frozen ocean. Heck, they probably jump into the ocean on Feb. 2, to honor that stupid overgrown gerbil.    

Well that pretty much wraps up our research findings of winter-time nautical fun. What d’ya think, can any of these pastimes cure the winter blues for those of us dreaming of a nautical summer?

Yeah, no! Winter still sucks….     

—Written for and published by “Getting Nauti” Feb. 20. And yeah, been a bit limited on my own personal writing of late…. Stay tuned—I’ll rant again, soon. 

Valentine’s Day Special!—Finding “The One”

Valentine’s Day Special!—Finding “The One”

—February 12, 2015

Valentine’s Day is upon us, and you are no doubt already planning how you will celebrate the venerated love saint’s day with your significant other….

That is unless you’re single.

In that case you are likely starting to reflect upon your abject loneliness or perhaps working the inverse with plans to celebrate your single status because you finally dumped that waste-of-bedspace-sorry-exuse-for-a-girlfriend/boyfriend after 18 months of brain fuckery.

Whatever the case, this blog is for you singletons. Because even if you’ve sworn off the opposite—or same, should that be your bent—sex forever, somewhere in your psyche there’s a quest to find “the one.” And if not “the” one, then at least “some”-one to mess up the sheets with.

For those of you who have already found “the one;” “maybe-the-one;” “there isn’t a ‘one,’ but I’m happy with ‘the one’ I’m with;” well, read on, because “life is funny,” “you never know what’s over the next hill,” and “shit happens.”

What we’re going to do here is figure out the best places to meet potential mates. Here goes….

Introduction from friends: Well, if it was all that effective you singletons wouldn’t be reading this, now would you? How many times has a friend said something along the lines of “you’ve got to meet my friend (insert name here)—you two would be great together?” Then you meet the potential mate and quickly figure out that your friend obviously doesn’t know you nearly as well as you thought. (OK, not technically a “place”—but close enough).

Bars and Nightclubs: Again if it was all that effective, you singletons wouldn’t need to read this. That said, it’s great for meeting short-term, recreational playdates, but this blog is more about celebrating the ideals of “Saint Valentine,” not “Saint Trojan,” so we’re not going to delve into that here.

Grocery Stores: I’m not sure about the success ratio of this one, but have heard numerous women describe it as an “ideal” place to potentially meet men. I say potentially, because to the best of my knowledge, none of these women actually met their significant other in a grocery store, and explanations about why grocery stores are ideal have come across more like fantasy than reality. Dunno, but guess sparks could fly while discussing whether there are more anti-oxidants in avocados than rutabagas.

Other Retail Establishments: Bookstores, in particular, offer great potential, as mutual interests can easily be ascertained by the reading material being browsed. And if there is mutual affinity for the reading material then the initial conversation can often flow with ease. Unfortunately, bookstores, like music stores (which served equally as well), are going the way of the dodo. Other retail establishments can also work, but require more creativity, and usually a really good sense of humor.

Weddings: If you’re single, I’d advise going to every wedding you’re invited to—hell, try wedding crashing. Seems to be an especially high success ratio, both with meeting “the one,” and with recreational opportunity (oops, not supposed to go there).

Family Reunions: Creepy! That is, unless second-cousin marriages run in the family….

No, still creepy.

Dating Sites: Yeah, I know—many folks are still skeptical about the concept and reluctant to try to meet “the one” through photos and text on an online portal, but it seems that more and more people are finding their mates via cyberspace. “Ashley Madison” excluded, as it was geared primarily to wannabe cheating husbands and more than 80 percent of the potential female dates were exposed as cyberfakes.

Among the most popular are Match, OkCupid, Zoosk and eHarmony (yeah, how’d eHarmony makeEHarmonyInside the list, what with that weird guy in the bad suit pitching love like an evangelical preacher?). And these sites have a membership base in the multi-multi-millions, so “the one” or an “approximation of the one” has got to be profiled somewhere within those cyberlove portals. The problem is finding him or her. But if you don’t seek, you will never find, so get on it.

Oh, and you don’t have to necessarily go with one of the big dogs in online dating, as there are hundreds of different sites out there, with many catering to a wide variety of distinct groups, whether by race, ethnicity, age, religion, or any number of other parameters. There are so many distinct dating sites that you could probably find one that caters strictly to Buddhist finance workers who follow UFC, if that happens to be what you’re into.

There are probably numerous other places where singletons can meet “the one,” so the above represents the short list. Where are some other prime places for finding a date, of finding that potential significant other?

Hash-It-Out! Where are the best places for single people to meet?

—Published Feb. 12 in Hash-It-Out!

GuyFi Beats Stress by Strangling the One-Eyed Snake

GuyFi Beats Stress by Strangling the One-Eyed Snake

—January 21, 2016

OK, kids, today’s story would appear to be from within the realm of “Are you f—king kidding me!?”

But no, we are not kidding you…. A British sex toy company has opened the first “male stress relief booth” in New York City, “designed to give the busy Manhattan man the privacy, and the high-speed Internet connection, he deserves.”

Or, to put it in layman’s terms: A British sex toy company has opened the first masturbation booth for men in New York City, where guys can slip into a former phone booth curtained off from public view, watch some high-speed Internet porn and engage in a little hand-to-gland combat.

Yeah, whoa!

OK, so London-based Hot Octopuss opened the “GuyFi” male stress relief booth a week ago on 28th Street and 5th Avenue, and company officials reported that about 100 men visited the booth on its first day of operation. According to the company’s Website, 80 percent of Americans say they suffer from workplace stress, and research has indicated that “a remarkable 39 percent of New Yorkers ‘self-soothe’ in the workplace to alleviate stress.” Thus, Hot Octopuss has created “a more suitable environment for this practice and “now invites office workers in desperate need of some downtime to visit the GuyFi booth and find out for themselves how a little break can make a big difference to their wellbeing and productivity.”

Hot Octopuss co-founder Adam Lewis said, “There’s no denying that working a nine-to-five job can be stressful on both your mind and body, especially in a non-stop city like Manhattan. It’s really important for guys to look after themselves so that they can stay healthy and focus properly on the task in hand.”

Yep, nothing beats choking the chicken as a means of keeping healthy and focused on work…. 

While the mainstream press has yet to weigh in on this pud-pulling booth story, the Internet press—such as Mashable and other sites—are posting the news, but also suggesting that the GuyFi booth is just a publicity stunt. For its part, company officials are insisting that it’s not a stunt and that the company plans to open other GuyFi booths around Manhattan, in London and in other major cities.

With a lack of mainstream press attention, public commentary about this five-knuckle-shuffle of a story is thus far muted. There was even a surprising lack of reaction on the comments section of those websites which did release the news, with the relative few comments generally ranging from support for the “great idea,” suppositions that it’s a hoax, questions about legality, and just a couple expressing outright disgust.

For example, a poster named Thomas hit the Hot Octopuss Website message board Jan. 18, with this apparent backlash of disgust:

“No this is revolting. Not only is this absolutely degrading but what about women? I can assure [you] I will not be buying anything from a company that thinks ‘men’ with no self control need to further harass women and children on our street by using MASTURBATION BOOTHS. How f—king ridiculous?! I don’t want to walk my girls down the street and have to explain what the hell these things are, or why some ragged homeless man is moaning and groaning in some f—k booth. Absolutely revolting – shame on you and this whole company.”

Upon reading Thomas’s comment we wondered what he meant by “but what about women?” Is he suggesting that women need their own booth in which to shuck their oysters—ahem, we mean, relieve stress?

We also wondered why Thomas focused on the “homeless.” What? he’ll have no problem explaining to his daughters why a Madison Avenue executive is moaning and groaning in the stress relief booth?

So, Hash It Out! What is your reaction upon learning about this new GuyFi booth?:

You are f—king kidding me….

LOL!

Eew!!!

Beavis-and-Butthead-It-s-A-Miserable-Life-beavis-and-butthead-9406719-720-480What a great idea!

There ought to be a law….

You wrote this blog because you have the psyche of a pre-pubescent boy and it’s giving you the excuse to spout out every masturbatory term you can come up with.

—M.J. Moye

Celebrity Sexual Proclivities for the Sake of Publicity

Celebrity Sexual Proclivities for the Sake of Publicity

—September 1, 2015

Ok, kids, so the big news over the weekend was Miley Cyrus coming out as “pansexual.”

Miley-Cyrus-tongue-twerkingNot that anyone should be surprised by any pronouncement Miley makes about her sexuality, and little doubt that we’ll keep hearing about her sex life for at least the next few years, say, until she gets out of puberty. But it did make us wonder what the heck a “pansexual” is. And no, it’s not somebody who gets off on frying pans and the like….

Pansexual is quite similar to bisexual, but on a broader range as it basically means open to getting it on with any member of the human race. So Miley is proclaiming herself to be about as inclusive as one can get with their sexuality. While we commend Miley for being all inclusive, we would like to remind her that there are laws regarding “age of consent,” and thus, that there are in fact limits to her sexual inclusiveness. We’ll also note that another word for pansexual might be “slut.”

Miley’s coming out as a pansexual got us thinking that this might herald a new trend in which celebrities start outing their sexual proclivities for the sake of publicity. It certainly worked for the rapidly fading celebrity athlete and reality TV star formerly named “Bruce,” and now Miley seems to be working it.

While “who’s next” in Celebrityville to out themselves for their sexual preferences and/or identities will undoubtedly be interesting, perhaps of more interest might be the sexual proclivity that gets named. We don’t consider ourselves to be prudish, and frankly, were surprised that there was a sexual term we were unfamiliar with, but while looking into the meaning of pansexual, came across a whole range of sexual proclivities that we’re not all that familiar with. And we’re not talking BDSM, foot fetishes and the like, because those are so yesterday….

Nope, any celebrities out there looking to create a bit of buzz via their sexuality, should out themselves for one of these:

Abasiophilia–sexual attraction to people with impaired mobility, especially those using orthopaedics. We guess that one would come out as an “abasiophiliac.”

Agalmatophilia–sexual attraction to statues, dolls, mannequins and the like. For the record, a man was caught in 1877 trying to get it on with Venus de Milo.

Acrotomophilia–sexual attraction to amputees. “Nice stump! Wanna get lucky?”

Apotemnophilia–sexual arousal based on the fantasy or reality of amputation of one’s own limbs. And yes, people have purposely amputated their own limbs for sexual gratification. 

Bugchasing–pursuing sexual activity with HIV-positive partners in order to contract HIV. Apparently bugchasers consider this to be “intensely erotic.” 

Coprophilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from feces. “Eew!”

Emetophilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from vomiting. Equally “Eew!”

Dacryphilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from other people’s tears or sobbing. “Cry me a river” takes on a whole new meaning.

Klismaphilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from enemas. Enemas sure are popular with the holistic health movement….

Mucophilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from mucus, whether one’s own or a partner’s. Yeah, “Eew!” 

Paraphilic infantilism (also known as diaper fetish)–sexual arousal and pleasure from wearing a diaper. “What a cute little baby.”pampers-imax-large-38-pieces- 

Troilism–sexual arousal and pleasure from watching one’s partner getting it on with someone else. “Take my wife, please” seems to be quite the popular Internet search.

Urolagnia–sexual arousal and pleasure from urine whether one’s own or a partner’s. And yet another “Eew!”

While outing oneself for any of the above sexual preferences would surely create buzz, in this day and age a celebrity looking for magazine cover buzz probably needs to go totally rogue…. How about:

antisexualism–opposition to all sexual behaviour and sexuality. OK, so perhaps this one might make a better fit for some of those folks running things in Washington…. 

—Originally published September 1, 2015 by Hash It Out!

So There I was….

So There I was….

So there I was . . . staring Death in his unblinking bloodshot eyes, powerless within his unwavering gaze and apparently destined to meet a cruel and painful demise.  As the road-kill stench of his fetid breath began to engulf me in its miasmatic haze, I began a feverish prayer for salvation.  To my immense surprise the incantation seemed to take affect as I noticed an almost imperceptible flutter of the eyelids, a flicker of uncertainty in those malevolent, blood-gorged orbs.

In the blink of an eye, if you’ll forgive the pun and cliché, I slammed my right fist into Death’s solar plexus and threw my other hand forward with two fingers distended—a perfectly aimed shot, each finger pushing an eyeball ever deeper into their sockets, until suddenly, the thick-skinned yet gelatinous orbs burst, and my fingers briefly broke through the membrane separating sight from imagination and brushed against death’s mind.  The foul beast roared with physical pain, the humiliation of defeat, and the knowledge that I would evermore be immune from his deadly gaze.  And there I was . . . immortal.

So there I was . . . looking down a long mist-enshrouded aisle of some vast ancient cathedral.  Throngs of shadowy apparitions crowded the pews, waiting in mute anticipation for the commencement of some sort of sacrilegious ceremony.  An unknown force beckoned me towards the cathedral’s immense altar, and though a deep feeling of dread permeated my senses, I stepped forward into the mist without hesitation, buoyed by my newfound perception of invulnerability.

I found myself before a hoary priest who began speaking ceremonial words in some long forgotten tongue, but the meaning behind the words became clear as the bride to be stepped up beside me.  Paralyzed with abject terror as the priest intoned, “and do you take Edna Hottschlaider as your lawfully wedded wife, to love, to hold and cherish for all eternity?” I turned to look into the mottled and pimple-scared face of my third-grade nemesis—Edna, the dreaded playground kissing girl.  And though my mind screamed a frenzied “No!” I heard my voice calmly state, “I do.”  And there I was . . . wishing I wasn’t so immortal.

So there I was . . . running through a shattered, fire-seared landscape reminiscent of Danté’s Inferno, all 300-plus pounds of Edna fast on my heels.  Evil looking demons, imps and gargoyles kept grasping for me out of the darkness, slowing my bid to escape.  Edna drew ever closer, foaming at the mouth in eager anticipation of consummating our unholy matrimony.  I headed for a bright light in the distance, somehow cognizant that it represented my only possible hope for escape, and as I came within one step of the bright portal, a hideous monster rose up before me with a staccato screech, and Edna was upon me.  I smacked the monster on his nose, plainly labeled “Snooze,” slammed my elbow in Edna’s great girth and pushed towards the brightness of escape and resurrection.

And there I was . . . thankfully awake . . . and vowing once again to never ever mix vodka martinis with sushi.

—Originally published in Johnstonian Sun and/or Kenly News, Circa 1990

OK, so the dream sequence is a bit cliché, but way back then I thought it was fairly clever. 

Will Canada’s New Leader Impact the U.S.?

Will Canada’s New Leader Impact the U.S.?

–October 26, 2015

Well, kids, there’s a new sheriff in town….

Not here. No, up in that vast cold territory to the north of us–the land of moose, beaver, eskimos and ice hockey known as Canada. The country held a national election last week, in which the incumbent prime minister was ousted by a political dilettante.

Today’s Question: Who is Canada’s prime minister elect?

a.) Steven Harper

b.) Thomas Mulcair

c.) Justin Bieber

d.) Justin Trudeau

Steven Harper is the current long serving incumbent prime minister and leader of Canada’s Conservative Party. But don’t let the party’s moniker fool you, as Canada is a left-leaning country and Harper is about as conservative as Bill Clinton. So, Harper, even though not particularly close to either former Republican President George W. Bush or current Democratic President Barack Obama, managed to toe a middle line and helped maintain reasonable U.S.-Canada relations for the past 10 years.

Thomas Mulcair was the third-place finisher in the election. Leader of the New Democrat Party, Mulcair is about as “left” as one gets in mainstream Canadian politics. In fact, this party’s moniker is also suspect as it should be called the New Socialist Party. Had Mulcair won, his policies and governing style would alienate America and probably lead to a U.S. nickname for him something along the lines of “Hugo Chavez of the North.”

Justin Bieber is a famous pop star from Canada, and sure, had he been on the ballot he undoubtedly would have scored some of the youth vote, but this Justin as Canada’s prime minister would be like Americans voting in Tila Tequila for president.

tumblr_mrxqi5CCjn1qze0z6o1_1280Justin Trudeau is the prime minister elect. A member of Canada’s Liberal Party, he is going to be running that cold territory for at least the next few years, and will in part dictate whether Canadian-U.S. relations continue in good standing. The Liberal Party, which lies pretty much left of center, is where it is supposed to be on the political spectrum, and there’s no reason to believe that Justin will not get along with the Democrats in Washington. The Republicans, though, and a Republican president, should one win the election in 2016, might have some issues with young Justin. Though we trust that any such issues would not be enough to thoroughly trash the long-standing good relations enjoyed by the two countries.

Let’s flesh out what promises Justin made on his road to the prime minister’s office and try to determine how America will feel should he successfully implement them as law.

One of Justin’s first acts will be to pull Canada out of active participation in the U.S. led coalition against Islamic State. While having a close ally pull out of the fight might seem cowardly, it’s not like Canada’s contribution–six obsolete attack jets and a few hundred soldiers–was going to tip the scales either way in the fight. And Canada being Canada, will undoubtedly replace its military commitment with an equal measure of humanitarian aid to those displaced by the war. From what we understand, Obama has already forgiven Justin for pulling out, and any potential future Republicans in power will likely have no problem living with it.

And speaking of humanitarian aid, Justin has already promised to take in thousands and thousands of Syrian refuges. This will not have a direct impact on U.S.-Canadian relations, but the U.S. has been concerned about Canada being both a haven for terrorists, and a back-door entryway for them, since the early days of the War on Terror. Thus, border control issues, which are already sometimes painful with tit-for-tat measures between the countries, could become a source of greater contention.

Actually, due to another Justin promise, the border could get downright ugly….

Justin, you see, has promised to legalize the use and sale of marijuana, a promise, that if kept, would put Canada at significantmarijuana_leaf odds with America’s ongoing War on Drugs. We’re guessing that President Obama, who hasn’t sent the Feds into Washington or Colorado with their marijuana legalization efforts, will keep a low profile on the issue when Canada goes legal. However, should the Republicans gain the White House, things could get very ugly, especially given that most Republicans still maintain a zero tolerance stance.

We’re not trying to debate the pros and cons of marijuana legalization here, we’re just pointing out that Justin Trudeau is taking the debate to a new level, as Canada will likely become the first country in the world to allow nationwide legal use and sale of marijuana. Whether America will be accepting of this or whether it leads to trade sanctions or worse remains to be seen.

This issue then, is likely to be among the biggest determinants of the future of U.S.-Canadian relations.

So, Hash-It-Out! Should Canada legalize marijuana how should America react?

a.) Do nothing at all.

b.) Watch and monitor to see if legalization should be adopted by the U.S.

c.) Close the border and impose sanctions until those dumb, pothead Canucks relent.

or, d.) Use it as a pretext for invasion. The Canucks are almost American anyhow and would welcome us with open arms.

—Originally published by Hash It Out! on October 26, 2015

Waking a Sleeping Giant?

Waking a Sleeping Giant?

—September 8, 2015

Comedian Nicole Arbour can be considered this past weekend’s Internet provocateur, as her YouTube video “Dear Fat People” roiled the wrath of America’s plus-sized population. Nicole’s video had received more than a half-million views before being shut down on Sunday morning. In response, Arbour Tweeted that she must be “the first comedian in the history of @YouTube to be #censored.” YouTube reinstated the channel later that afternoon, stating that the suspension had been a mistake. The video reportedly had more than 18 million views by Monday.

In her video, Nicole starts of by saying that fat-shaming was made up by fat people, and that “If we offend you so much that you lose weight, I’m OK with that.” She goes on to say, it’s the “race card with no race. There’s a race card, there’s a disability card [and] there’s even a gay card, because gay people are discriminated against, wrongfully so. The gay card is covered in glitter.”

During the six-minute video rant, Nicole continuously encourages the “35 percent of North Americans who are obese” to lose weight with the use of comedic on liners such as, “Obesity is a disease? Yeah, but so is being a shopaholic, but I don’t get a fucking parking pass.”

Perhaps her most controversial–and no-doubt potentially offensive to those of the wider dimension spectrum–comments involve her descriptions of sharing a flight with the “fatest, most obese–I’m talkin’ TLC Special fat” family. Nicole notes that she had dutifully waited in the security line for more than an hour, and yet the fat family was ushered to the front of the line because their knees were hurting because of their weight. She takes further issue with the special treatment they are provided  when transported by golf cart to the boarding gate, and describes them as smelling like sausages, and sweating Crisco oil. Then she finds herself sitting on the plane aside the fat child of the family and describes having to physical push his fat out of her lap.

All-righty, then….  No doubt that this video fat shames. And no doubt that this video can be considered offensive, especially to the millions of North Americans who might be considered over-girthed. But it’s also comedy. Good comedy pushes boundaries, and perhaps as many people found it hilarious as those who found it offensive.

Nicole Arbour obviously knew all this when she made the video, as when she announces its title, “Dear Fat People,” she immediately exclaims how “some people are already really mad at this video,” followed by, “what are you going to do, fat people? What are you going to do? What, are you going to chase me? Really?… I can get away from you by walking at a reasonable pace.”

Well, Nicole might be able to walk away from the angry mob of proportionally challenged; however, she can’t escape their Internet counter-attack. Dozens of YouTube response videos excoriating the comedian and her video have been posted, led by TLC channel’s My Big Fat Fabulous Life star Whitney Way Thore, who calls the Arbour video “heinous,” among other things. “Fat-shaming is a thing; it’s a really big thing, no pun intended,” Thore says. “It is the really nasty spawn of a larger parent problem called body-shaming, which I’m fairly certain everyone on the planet, especially women, has experienced.”

And now the media is wading into the fray and examining fat-shaming and all sorts of day-to-day problems, including discrimination, that are faced by those in the plus-size club. There’s no such thing as “bad publicity,” so this will undoubtedly help Nicole’s career, as well as Thore’s.

The question is, though, has Nicole awakened a sleeping giant? Will the ensuing backlash lead to calls for the government to get involved and protect the dignity of the millions fighting the battle of the bulge? Will the corpulent become the newest marginalized group to seek out hate speech protection and claim that their civil rights are being infringed?

If you thought the Gay Pride movement was big, keep an eye on the Fat Power movement, cause it could become gargantuan.