PC Potentates Declare Yoga “Culturally Insensitive”

PC Potentates Declare Yoga “Culturally Insensitive”

—November 27, 2015

For the latest in politically correct absurdity I bring you to my adopted land up here in the North, the land of ice, moose, beavers and Eskimos known as Canada. And there I go, already committing a politically incorrect faux pas by daring to refer to Inuits as “Eskimos.” Perhaps the provincial human rights commission needs to mount an investigation to determine whether this constitutes “hate speech,” but at the very least I should obviously be vilified by all.

Anyhow, the politically correct absurdity of the week award goes to the University of Ottawa’s Student Federation, which has shut down yoga classes at the university, deeming yoga’s cultural issues too controversial for the student body.

“While yoga is a really great idea and accessible and great for students, there are cultural issues of implication involved in the practice,” stated an email ordering a yoga class long-held at the university’s Center for Students with Disabilities to be shut down. “Yoga has been under a lot of controversy lately due to how it is being practiced,” added the email, noting that the cultures from which yoga emerged have “experienced oppression, cultural genocide and diasporas due to colonialism and western supremacy [and] we need to be mindful of this and how we express ourselves while practicing yoga.”

The absurdity of this is almost beyond words, but stems from “cultural appropriation,” which is basically a politically correct activist concern that the Western (primarily “white”) world is (and has long been) appropriating the rest of the world’s culture without granting appropriate reverence and recompense in return.

PC Activists began ramping up their campaign against cultural appropriation many years ago, with protests against inappropriate sports team names—Redskins, Indians, Warriors, etc—marking their first shots in this regard. Inappropriate Halloween costumes came next on their list–In case you haven’t noticed (and how could you not, as Halloween seems to really piss the PC crowd off), in the past few years dressing up as an Indian, Chinaman, or any number of other “cultures” has been strictly forbidden by the potentates of PC.

More recently they’ve been tch-tching western celebrities who dare sport clothing that incorporates features that may come from a marginalized culture. Katy Perry was harangued for dressing like a geisha during an American Music Awards performance, and several celebrities have been harassed of late for sporting bindi designs. All indications suggest that the PC activists are getting ready to seriously ramp up their war against the cultural appropriation of fashion.

And now they’ve fired the first shot against yoga.

What’s next?

Well, from trolling the websites of noted PC activists I can tell you that martial arts, ethnic foods and rock and roll, among others, are being closely examined for their cultural appropriation, so stay tuned.

Oh, but don’t let me forget to mention the inherent hypocrisy of this latest PC movement (easy to forget as PC culture is rife with hypocrisy): “Multiculturalism” is a key mantra of the politically correct, and yet, if I utilize or display anything that may have evolved from another (perhaps “marginalized”) culture I am guilty of “cultural appropriation.”

But no need to worry about this possible inconvenience should you leanScreen Shot 2015-11-27 at 10.06.16 PM PC, because remember, if you’re PC you can self identify. Cultural appropriation only applies to “privileged” white folks such as myself–If you’re politically correct you will be applauded for your multiculturalism.

“Cultural Appropriation!” Add this to the list of politically correct activist catch phrases, such as “white privilege,” “social justice,” “hate speech,” “marginalized cultures,” “inclusiveness,” “trigger warnings,” “micro-aggression,” “safe spaces,” “gender neutrality,” “self identification,” etc…

. . . and be very afraid.

Politically Correct Absurdities of the Week

Politically Correct Absurdities of the Week

–November 20, 2015

As the tides of political correctness engulf the land like a slow building storm surge, it almost seems that people are so dazed by the storm that they can’t see the absurdities coming in with these tides like so much mud riven up from the seabed. People see the actions and hear the words of the politically correct and take them at face value, as though they should be construed as normal. Thus my efforts here to stir that mud and show the absurd detritus within.

422648779_5c7a015e97_zThis week’s absurdity award goes to Dartmouth College administrators and the Dartmouth “Black Lives Matter” student protesters. The Ivy league college made the news after the protesters stormed the college’s library and disrupted students studying for their exams.

The hyperbole of some right-wing media elevated the “disturbance” almost to the level of a “riot;” however, the protest never got that out of control, nor was anyone physically assaulted as suggested in such news articles. Nevertheless, the protesters were intimidating and very “in-your-face” disruptive (a video of the incident can be seen here).

I fully support the free speech rights of the protesters and believe they have the right to scream “black lives matter,” “fuck your white privilege,” “fuck your comfort,” and “fuck your white asses” (the latter three statements are not heard in the video, but protesters freely admitted to using them). But I don’t believe they had the right to do so in the library, which is not a “public space” per se as proscribed in the First Amendment’s dictates. Nor do I believe that they had the right to break into the personal space of any of those people studying in the library. Where I come from breaking the six-inch personal space and screaming expletives and attendant spit into one’s face is grounds for throwing a punch.

However, the protesters are justifying their actions. “While I don’t think the protest should happen again to the extent where people are being yelled at and making people cry, I think the invasion of space needed to be done,” said one protester. Another one said the students in the library “represented the greater degree of ignorance, apathy and privilege that you see at Dartmouth.”

Privilege? Ah, yes, “white privilege.” The catchword being used by the politically correct to indicate all the many benefits and advantages white folks get for, well, being born white. Apparently it’s our fault that we were born that way and the politically correct believe we need to atone for it, as well as all the privileges enjoyed by our ancestors.

Yes, those students studying in the library are privileged. Anyone going to an ivy league school like Dartmouth is exceptionally privileged, which—hello!—includes those very student protesters.

And what of the numerous white students who protested at the library in fellowship with the black students? What of their white privilege?

Well, they are politically correct, and activist proponents of political correctness believe in “self identification,” so obviously those white “Black Lives Matter” demonstrators identify as “underprivileged black Dartmouth students,” and we just have to accept them as such.

And to compound all the above absurdity, let’s “blame the victim.”

As one protester said, “I have a problem with the protest being made to look like a spectacle by the students who were recording videos of it in the library.”

These right-wing media “allegations of physical assault are lies to make the white students look like victims and students of color to look like the perpetrators,” said another protestor, who added that the white students in the library deserved to feel uncomfortable.

OK, so the students peacefully studying in the library were responsible for this whole incident….

And then we’ve got Dartmouth administrators who are putting their support solidly behind the protestors, while thus far ignoring complaints by students harassed in the library. During a meeting with minority students, vice provost for student affairs, Inge-Lise Ameer, called the protest a “wonderful, beautiful thing,” and issued a public apology to the studentsAmeer-590 who engaged in the protest for the negative responses and media coverage that they received. “There’s a whole conservative world out there that’s not being very nice,” she said.

Un-fucking-real! This woman is undoubtedly of the same politically correct ilk that would apologize to ISIS for being part of the western world’s social and economic construct that is ultimately responsible for fomenting its rise and encouraging its subsequent application of harsh tactics such as torture, beheadings, rape and the like.

What do you think? Do Dartmouth and the protestors deserve the politically correct absurdity of the week award?

Runner Up: Princeton University Administrators who have agreed to consider the removal of President Woodrow Wilson’s name and likeness from the school grounds based on his racist legacy of supporting segregation. Well, if this emerging trend keeps accelerating you can pretty much say goodbye to most U.S. Presidents’ names and likenesses on campuses, because the majority of them carry racist baggage of different sorts. But that’s activist political correctness for you—selective revision of history and language that may be offensive to marginalized groups.

Better Put a Trigger Warning on This One!

Better Put a Trigger Warning on This One!

—November 16, 2015

You know what? I think it’s time to let loose with some hate speech….

Yeah, I’m going to spew out some vile, vituperative vitriol….

Are you ready? Here goes:

I despise you activist purveyors of political correctness with your demands for safe spaces, trigger warnings, speech codes, gender neutrality, social justice, and abject conformity to your views. I despise your ongoing calls for tolerance and inclusiveness, which really only apply to your politically correct brethren and the marginalized segments of society you purportedly protect from the rest of us. I despise your hypersensitive, holier-than-thou whining about micro-aggressions, and all the countless everyday words and actions that are so quickly described by you as “demeaning to” (insert marginalized victim of the day here).

I don’t despise you as people—honestly do not care if you are black, white, Asian, Hispanic, Muslim, female, gay, trans, obese, disabled, or whatever supposedly marginalized group you care to identify with—nor do I necessarily repudiate your specific causes.

But I despise your emerging ideology and methodologies. The former akin to Marxism, but instead of trying to extinguish class differences, it appears that you are trying to eliminate personality differences in your quest to homogenize the human race to conform to your ideals. The latter ironically fraught with divisiveness and intolerance.

And I especially despise how you seek to stifle freedom of speech and thought—how easily you are offended and ready to erupt in outrage until the offending subject matter is removed or censored. Your efforts in this regard are starting to reach a crescendo, as evidenced by the recent explosion of politically correct student activism on college campuses across America.

Take the University of Missouri in just the past few days:

Media studies and journalism professor Melissa Click physically tried to block the press from covering student demonstrations on the quad. During the altercation the professor called for “muscle” to help her remove an offending journalist.

Professor Melissa “I need some muscle over here” Click is a disgrace to the profession, and any  and all journalism credentials should be stripped from her forthwith.

Meanwhile the vice president of the school’s student association, Brenda Smith-Lezama, expressed her disdain of freedom of speech when she told MSNBC that “I personally am tired of hearing that first amendment rights protect students when they are creating a hostile and unsafe learning environment for myself and other students here.”

Really? How did this woman ever get into university? I mean, as an African-American minority student Ms. Smith-Lezama surely must realize that she would never be student association vice president, let alone even have been admitted to the university, were it not for the First Amendment rights that allowed her forebears to push for civil rights. 

And the campus police have entered the PC war, sending out a message on social media encouraging Missouri students to report any and all instances of hateful or hurtful speech, noting that while not against the law, the Office of Student Conduct can take disciplinary action.

So, if your feelings are hurt, call the police…. 

Over at Yale University, PC students are calling for the head of a professor who dared criticize school efforts to encourage students to wear politically correct costumes during Halloween. The professor suggested that students should not take offence when seeing insensitive Halloween costumes, but should instead be tolerant of them and debate why a particular costume might be offensive.

“Free speech and the ability to tolerate offence are the hallmarks of a free and open society,” the professor said.

Apparently not for the students at Yale….

And we’ve got speech codes and trigger warnings—all the rage across U.S. campuses. It appears that today’s college studentsTrigger Warning are so sensitive that just about any content offered in class that might be offensive or even mildly controversial needs to come with warnings so that students can opt out so that the material does not upset their delicate sensibilities.

What a great way to get out of classes, tests and reading….  

So, that’s it. That’s my hate speech. Put a trigger warning on it and call the PC police.

For more politically correct absurdity, please see my Aug. 28 Blog: Alabama Sorority Censored by Politically Correct Pressure.

Celebrity Sexual Proclivities for the Sake of Publicity

Celebrity Sexual Proclivities for the Sake of Publicity

—September 1, 2015

Ok, kids, so the big news over the weekend was Miley Cyrus coming out as “pansexual.”

Miley-Cyrus-tongue-twerkingNot that anyone should be surprised by any pronouncement Miley makes about her sexuality, and little doubt that we’ll keep hearing about her sex life for at least the next few years, say, until she gets out of puberty. But it did make us wonder what the heck a “pansexual” is. And no, it’s not somebody who gets off on frying pans and the like….

Pansexual is quite similar to bisexual, but on a broader range as it basically means open to getting it on with any member of the human race. So Miley is proclaiming herself to be about as inclusive as one can get with their sexuality. While we commend Miley for being all inclusive, we would like to remind her that there are laws regarding “age of consent,” and thus, that there are in fact limits to her sexual inclusiveness. We’ll also note that another word for pansexual might be “slut.”

Miley’s coming out as a pansexual got us thinking that this might herald a new trend in which celebrities start outing their sexual proclivities for the sake of publicity. It certainly worked for the rapidly fading celebrity athlete and reality TV star formerly named “Bruce,” and now Miley seems to be working it.

While “who’s next” in Celebrityville to out themselves for their sexual preferences and/or identities will undoubtedly be interesting, perhaps of more interest might be the sexual proclivity that gets named. We don’t consider ourselves to be prudish, and frankly, were surprised that there was a sexual term we were unfamiliar with, but while looking into the meaning of pansexual, came across a whole range of sexual proclivities that we’re not all that familiar with. And we’re not talking BDSM, foot fetishes and the like, because those are so yesterday….

Nope, any celebrities out there looking to create a bit of buzz via their sexuality, should out themselves for one of these:

Abasiophilia–sexual attraction to people with impaired mobility, especially those using orthopaedics. We guess that one would come out as an “abasiophiliac.”

Agalmatophilia–sexual attraction to statues, dolls, mannequins and the like. For the record, a man was caught in 1877 trying to get it on with Venus de Milo.

Acrotomophilia–sexual attraction to amputees. “Nice stump! Wanna get lucky?”

Apotemnophilia–sexual arousal based on the fantasy or reality of amputation of one’s own limbs. And yes, people have purposely amputated their own limbs for sexual gratification. 

Bugchasing–pursuing sexual activity with HIV-positive partners in order to contract HIV. Apparently bugchasers consider this to be “intensely erotic.” 

Coprophilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from feces. “Eew!”

Emetophilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from vomiting. Equally “Eew!”

Dacryphilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from other people’s tears or sobbing. “Cry me a river” takes on a whole new meaning.

Klismaphilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from enemas. Enemas sure are popular with the holistic health movement….

Mucophilia–sexual arousal and pleasure from mucus, whether one’s own or a partner’s. Yeah, “Eew!” 

Paraphilic infantilism (also known as diaper fetish)–sexual arousal and pleasure from wearing a diaper. “What a cute little baby.”pampers-imax-large-38-pieces- 

Troilism–sexual arousal and pleasure from watching one’s partner getting it on with someone else. “Take my wife, please” seems to be quite the popular Internet search.

Urolagnia–sexual arousal and pleasure from urine whether one’s own or a partner’s. And yet another “Eew!”

While outing oneself for any of the above sexual preferences would surely create buzz, in this day and age a celebrity looking for magazine cover buzz probably needs to go totally rogue…. How about:

antisexualism–opposition to all sexual behaviour and sexuality. OK, so perhaps this one might make a better fit for some of those folks running things in Washington…. 

—Originally published September 1, 2015 by Hash It Out!

So There I was….

So There I was….

So there I was . . . staring Death in his unblinking bloodshot eyes, powerless within his unwavering gaze and apparently destined to meet a cruel and painful demise.  As the road-kill stench of his fetid breath began to engulf me in its miasmatic haze, I began a feverish prayer for salvation.  To my immense surprise the incantation seemed to take affect as I noticed an almost imperceptible flutter of the eyelids, a flicker of uncertainty in those malevolent, blood-gorged orbs.

In the blink of an eye, if you’ll forgive the pun and cliché, I slammed my right fist into Death’s solar plexus and threw my other hand forward with two fingers distended—a perfectly aimed shot, each finger pushing an eyeball ever deeper into their sockets, until suddenly, the thick-skinned yet gelatinous orbs burst, and my fingers briefly broke through the membrane separating sight from imagination and brushed against death’s mind.  The foul beast roared with physical pain, the humiliation of defeat, and the knowledge that I would evermore be immune from his deadly gaze.  And there I was . . . immortal.

So there I was . . . looking down a long mist-enshrouded aisle of some vast ancient cathedral.  Throngs of shadowy apparitions crowded the pews, waiting in mute anticipation for the commencement of some sort of sacrilegious ceremony.  An unknown force beckoned me towards the cathedral’s immense altar, and though a deep feeling of dread permeated my senses, I stepped forward into the mist without hesitation, buoyed by my newfound perception of invulnerability.

I found myself before a hoary priest who began speaking ceremonial words in some long forgotten tongue, but the meaning behind the words became clear as the bride to be stepped up beside me.  Paralyzed with abject terror as the priest intoned, “and do you take Edna Hottschlaider as your lawfully wedded wife, to love, to hold and cherish for all eternity?” I turned to look into the mottled and pimple-scared face of my third-grade nemesis—Edna, the dreaded playground kissing girl.  And though my mind screamed a frenzied “No!” I heard my voice calmly state, “I do.”  And there I was . . . wishing I wasn’t so immortal.

So there I was . . . running through a shattered, fire-seared landscape reminiscent of Danté’s Inferno, all 300-plus pounds of Edna fast on my heels.  Evil looking demons, imps and gargoyles kept grasping for me out of the darkness, slowing my bid to escape.  Edna drew ever closer, foaming at the mouth in eager anticipation of consummating our unholy matrimony.  I headed for a bright light in the distance, somehow cognizant that it represented my only possible hope for escape, and as I came within one step of the bright portal, a hideous monster rose up before me with a staccato screech, and Edna was upon me.  I smacked the monster on his nose, plainly labeled “Snooze,” slammed my elbow in Edna’s great girth and pushed towards the brightness of escape and resurrection.

And there I was . . . thankfully awake . . . and vowing once again to never ever mix vodka martinis with sushi.

—Originally published in Johnstonian Sun and/or Kenly News, Circa 1990

OK, so the dream sequence is a bit cliché, but way back then I thought it was fairly clever. 

Finding Romance on the End of a Dock

Finding Romance on the End of a Dock

There’s something inherently romantic about a dock. Whether a commercial pier on the city dockyards to a private pleasure craft wharf on a bay to a ramshackle canoe dock on a country lake, there’s just something about them that stirs the romantic’s soul.

Have you ever noticed how people tend to linger when on a dock? The hustle and bustle of activity on a commercial pier certainly draws people’s attention and gives reason to pause, but have you ever lingered on a deserted city pier at night? Have you noticed how quiet it can be despite the constant drone of the surrounding city? How that quiet pier seems like a refuge from the city’s perpetual motion and noise?

How many of you have lingered on the dock after the boat is secured and it’s time to get home for supper? Sure, you’re just double checking the lines–or your SlideMoor™ connections–and taking a last look for the day at your beautiful boat. But don’t you find yourself pausing sometimes just to enjoy being on the dock? Sometimes it calls for sitting on the dock with your legs hanging over the side and a beer in hand. Perhaps with a close friend or two, as you reminisce while listening to the lap of the waves and watching the boating activity lazily wind down.

Have you ever watched the night sky from the dock? Seen the different moon phases or just gazed in awe at the billions of glittering stars? Perhaps you and three of your closest friends laid down on a dock to watch a meteorite shower when you were a pre-adolescent. Between loud exclamations of “there’s one!” you quietly talked about the mysteries of adulthood and tried to fathom the immensity of the universe.

You must have experienced at least one beautiful sunset while sitting on a dock with a loved one. And perhaps that same loved one was with you on a date back when you were a teenager. One of those endless summer nights when the future was unknown but everything still possible. You and your date had quietly eased away from the gang to take a walk. Found yourself on the end of someone’s dock. Marvelled at the beauty of the night sky and incredible mirror-still waters of the harbor. Somehow broke through the endless awkward pause with that first long, lingering kiss….

For those of you thinking bunk!–a dock’s a dock is a dock, I ask you to listen to that classic Otis Redding song that begins:

“Sittin’ in the mornin’ sun

I’ll be sittin’ when the evenin’ comes

Watchin’ the ships roll in

Then I watch ‘em roll away again, yeah

I’m sittin’ on the dock of the bay

Watchin’ the tide roll away….”

And if that doesn’t stir your soul, you don’t have a romantic bone in your body.

—Originally published July 15, 2015 by SlideMoor.com.